DON'T GIT ME STARTED

Hopefully thoughtful critiques of local culture. Snarky swipes at the culture at large. You earned it.

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An idea with the life sucked right out of it

After watching that Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter trailer: in theory, this could be campy-yet-also-totally-badass (sorta like the Iron Man movies, the first one anyway). Judging by the trailer (which I dragged my feet on watching, anticipating it would suck)… it just looks like every other period-piece-CGI-action-movie (Sherlock Holmes, that awful werewolf thing, etc (sub-parenthetical: YOU EVEN USED THE SAME FONT AS SHERLOCK HOLMES FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE MOVIE’S TITLE!!! (sub-sub-parenthetical: you chose a period-appropriate typeface there (Clarendon was designed in England in the early 1800s) but then you used what’s either a free or should-be-free script font for his signature! I mean, yeah, it sorta looks like his writing, but it’s really easy to find a high-res scan of Abe Lincoln’s handwriting online (I did it for a design project two years ago…Library of Congress ring a bell?) and cleaned it up a bit if need be and used that… but I know these movies these days don’t really have the budget for the 30 minutes of time it would take to make that effort)). Blueish lighting/post-production toning. Everything black (except the characters.. I mean, Tim Burton is the producer). At least they didn’t let Burton put Lincoln in culottes and knee-high black-and-white-striped kneesocks. You know there’s going to be at least one character wearing those though. Maybe it’ll be Stonewall Jackson!

The CGI in that sepia-toned horse riding/battle/whatever/blurry mess/this-makes-the-action-sequences-in-Transformers-look-clear-and-easy-to-follow scene also looks straight out of those Sci-Fi channel “let’s mix this animal with this monster and give it a stupid name so it becomes an internet thing for like 2 weeks so we can justify keeping this lagging network that changes its names and branding as often as a crust punk changes their underwear (yearly that is) barely afloat.” AKA it’s blurry and cheap and crap.

Weird, this post ended up sorta being in the style of my buddy’s blog: imfuckingdonewithit.tumblr.com

Anyway, I’ve been too busy lately to see a lot of local arts / culture stuff, but it was feeling dead over here so I wanted to post something. I may even post a positive thing soon! What? Liked something?! DON’T GIT ME STARTED!

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You know why I hate tumblr, ffffound, etc? No credits / no context.
I designed this shirt like 7 years ago. And not that I need my ego stroked, but in fairness it would be nice if people credited things. But yknow like… why would you wanna do THAT, mannn… Soon, I’m gonna repost here an excellent thing a friend of mine wrote about this phenomenon.

You know why I hate tumblr, ffffound, etc? No credits / no context.


I designed this shirt like 7 years ago. And not that I need my ego stroked, but in fairness it would be nice if people credited things. But yknow like… why would you wanna do THAT, mannn…

Soon, I’m gonna repost here an excellent thing a friend of mine wrote about this phenomenon.

(Source: baltiamore, via ladycreep-deactivated20140901)

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Fake Age = Early Death

Logos, illustrations, and other commercial art/elements that have “distress” built into the original design probably won’t be around long enough to actually have the effects of time and accidents wear them down. 

It’s basically like you’re signaling that either the design (well, definitely the design) or the business / product / etc is going to fail/be irrelevant within the next 5 years, if not sooner! “We aren’t actually going to be here too long, so we’re just building this in now as a way to (not) trick your eye into thinking we’re established and authentic (whatever that means)!”

It’s also the equivalent of buying jeans that are already ripped and/or faded. Maybe that’s your thing. Maybe you’re really into bullshit.

Also, say on the off-chance this bad design or piece of art (stop trying to make your illustration “look like a screenprint” by placing stupid “grit” from your folder of bitmap tif grit all over the damn thing!!!!) does stick around for a while and actually gets marked/scuffed/etc. …will you be upset when this happens? “Oh no! That’s not where I wanted that line to be broken!” “Only the top corner of the M is supposed to be worn off!” Will you not hear how stupid it sounds when you say “Oh cool, now it’s actually getting worn down!”

This isn’t really a concise/focused post, but this crap doesn’t deserve a much more thoughtful post. Because it is crap.

PS if you’re Punk and you do this, you’re actually Not Punk. You’re just turning into Mountain Dew.

Filed under graphicdesign logodesign uglyTshirts You'reNotFoolingAnybody REALTALK designtrends stopalready posers

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This is a detail of a new mural by New York-based artist Maya Hayuk that has popped up in Baltimore’s Station North Arts District. Apparently it’s part of Open Walls Baltimore, which seems well-intentioned if imperfect. I won’t get too deep into how I feel about murals as a way to “revitalize” or “cheer up” certain economic areas right now. I pass this part of the mural almost every day on my way to work. It’s at the right edge of the wall, next to the sidewalk where everyone can see it, and it pisses me off.
The artist made the off-duty cops sign into a penis dripping cum. Har har. I get it. The punk (and 16-year-old) part of me is like “yeah, mannn, cops are dicks! awesome!” but the adult, hopefully-serious artist side of me is offended/pissed-off (no pun intended).

 I have problems with the cops. Who doesn’t? But I also realize they’re a necessity for the most part in our society, especially in Baltimore City. Don’t give me some peace-and-love-anarchy-blah-blah-blah thing right now. Save it for another time/that’s another discussion.


What I have a problem with here and now is: this is an extremely prominent mural, in a popular, highly-trafficked part of town, and it’s just disrespectful. The police officers who work that lot are, as the sign says, off-duty. I’m guessing that a cop who has to take a job working in a parking lot, on top of all the extra-long and often-not-to-safe hours of his or her weekly shifts, isn’t really pulling in the dough. They aren’t doing this for shits n giggles. They obviously need the extra cash, just like most of us. So I just think it’s really short-sighted, juvenile, and insulting to include something like this on a public mural that’s supposed to be part of a series whose aim is to be “an outdoor exhibition of extraordinary murals that enlivens public spaces, stimulates community revitalization and national dialogue, and attracts visitors and investors to Station North.”
I like subversive art and hidden messages as much as the next guy, but this is just bad. This little addition to the mural is about as “edgy” (a word/idea I despise) as M.I.A.’s little shenanigans at the Super Bowl. Way to stick it to… who? What does this accomplish? Subversion is supposed to have a goal or a message and I don’t see a worthwhile one here.
The little heart next to the artist’s name really annoys me, too. Like “Tee-hee! It’s okay I called this person who has to work two jobs a flaccid, leaky, dick because I put a heart here.”
Finally, it’s convenient how the artist does this in Baltimore, a city she doesn’t live in (at least according to the quick internet search I did before posting this), but then is able to retreat to her home elsewhere, far from the people she’s insulting or the repercussions of that insult.
The two-job-working officers you’re blindly calling a dick and the people whose property they  are watching have to put up with this now. If I worked at a place that openly allowed random artists to come in and call me a dick in front of everyone who passes by, I’d probably sue that place. Or at least move the dick motif over a few feet to where it really seems to belong.

This is a detail of a new mural by New York-based artist Maya Hayuk that has popped up in Baltimore’s Station North Arts District. Apparently it’s part of Open Walls Baltimore, which seems well-intentioned if imperfect. I won’t get too deep into how I feel about murals as a way to “revitalize” or “cheer up” certain economic areas right now. I pass this part of the mural almost every day on my way to work. It’s at the right edge of the wall, next to the sidewalk where everyone can see it, and it pisses me off.

The artist made the off-duty cops sign into a penis dripping cum. Har har. I get it. The punk (and 16-year-old) part of me is like “yeah, mannn, cops are dicks! awesome!” but the adult, hopefully-serious artist side of me is offended/pissed-off (no pun intended).

 I have problems with the cops. Who doesn’t? But I also realize they’re a necessity for the most part in our society, especially in Baltimore City. Don’t give me some peace-and-love-anarchy-blah-blah-blah thing right now. Save it for another time/that’s another discussion.



What I have a problem with here and now is: this is an extremely prominent mural, in a popular, highly-trafficked part of town, and it’s just disrespectful. The police officers who work that lot are, as the sign says, off-duty. I’m guessing that a cop who has to take a job working in a parking lot, on top of all the extra-long and often-not-to-safe hours of his or her weekly shifts, isn’t really pulling in the dough. They aren’t doing this for shits n giggles. They obviously need the extra cash, just like most of us. So I just think it’s really short-sighted, juvenile, and insulting to include something like this on a public mural that’s supposed to be part of a series whose aim is to be “an outdoor exhibition of extraordinary murals that enlivens public spaces, stimulates community revitalization and national dialogue, and attracts visitors and investors to Station North.”

I like subversive art and hidden messages as much as the next guy, but this is just bad. This little addition to the mural is about as “edgy” (a word/idea I despise) as M.I.A.’s little shenanigans at the Super Bowl. Way to stick it to… who? What does this accomplish? Subversion is supposed to have a goal or a message and I don’t see a worthwhile one here.

The little heart next to the artist’s name really annoys me, too. Like “Tee-hee! It’s okay I called this person who has to work two jobs a flaccid, leaky, dick because I put a heart here.”

Finally, it’s convenient how the artist does this in Baltimore, a city she doesn’t live in (at least according to the quick internet search I did before posting this), but then is able to retreat to her home elsewhere, far from the people she’s insulting or the repercussions of that insult.

The two-job-working officers you’re blindly calling a dick and the people whose property they  are watching have to put up with this now. If I worked at a place that openly allowed random artists to come in and call me a dick in front of everyone who passes by, I’d probably sue that place. Or at least move the dick motif over a few feet to where it really seems to belong.

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Young Designers: You can’t pay the bills with tumblr reposts. Stop designing for the internet and design for the real world.
Me